Appreciation...

I have recently had the opportunity to watch a friend go through a very tough situation that has really hit home w me. To respect her privacy I wont divulge any info about it, sorry, but I do have some thoughts on how its effected me. I was able to be close to the whole process of her placing a baby for adoption. Since I am adopted, it really was a special thing for me to be part of. I now have a completely new respect and appreciation for my birth mother. I have always known that it must have been hard for her to give me up, but after watching a friend go through it and seeing how unbelievably hard it was for her, I now realize just how hard it was for my mother. Honestly, I cant even imagine how hard it was. Im not sure that I would be able to do the same. I really know and feel a bit of how much she really loved me to go through what she went through so that I could have a better life. I am so greatful that she did that for me, cause I have had a good life and I have a great family...as frustrating as they may be at times...they are my family and I love them. I cant even imagine having gone through life wout a dad around the whole time, since I am so close w my dad. I sat and held that baby and just thought about how I was that little baby at one point. Someone out there sat and held me, bawled her eyes out and gave away part of her. I know she is out there somewhere and thinks about me all the time. In the last few years I have had the feeling of wanting to find her, but now I am really going to try hard to find her. Not because I want to replace my mom, but because I want to be able to hug her and tell her thank you and let her know that I have had a good life. I want to show her who I am and I want to know what she is like. I mean freak she has to be awesome if Im anything like her!!! :) There are things that scare me about meeting her, but if for no other reason than to show her my appreciation, its worth it. Let the search begin!